The Dowloaded Knight

I have a wonderful transcriptionist who is transferring the audio from my interviews into written documents.  Inevitably, when you aren’t the one conducting the interview and you don’t know the person who is speaking, some of the translation gets flubbed.  I’ve decided to share some of my favorites with you as I come across them.

#1

Audio: “It will come to you as a download at night.”

Transcription: “It will come to you as a downloaded knight.”

#2

Audio: “You know, like working on golf scores. . .”

Transcription: “You know, like boss on the floors. . .”

Videophobic Trauma

So, I’ve interviewed over 20 people for my study now, and I am amazed at the near-universal reaction of self-loathing that emerges as individuals first glimpse themselves on camera.  I must admit that I had the same reaction when I watched my initial research video at home.  I actually edited one clip that I showed to a participant so that my backside was not in view!  Some people may lament their video appearance because they feel like the need to say SOMETHING as their image first darts across the screen, but I think there is a larger issue at play here as well.  Yes, our culture promotes a physical ideal that is virtually unattainable, and, thus, it make sense that we judge ourselves harsley.  But there also seems to be a disconnect between how we THINK we look (and/or sound) during everyday interactions and how we actually appear. . .  Is watching oneself on video a valuable learning experience, or a potentially damaging event?  I HAVE held back and/or monitored my behavior and body position several times since I watched my first research video. . .

Gathering Data

Luckily, I’ve found four wonderful organizations that are allowing me to conduct research at their meetings.  (I still need at least two more organizations to participate, so let me know if you have any ideas for me!)  Today I am in Mt. Laurel, Alabama. . .an eerily quaint community.  I arrived early this morning and decided to look for a coffee shop.  I popped my head into the town grocery store to ask for directions, and one of the self-described “retired gentlemen who just hang out in downtown Mt. Laurel all day” offered to walk me to the community diner.  I felt like I had been sucked into that movie where the town was in black and white until people started having moments of self-awareness. . .can’t remember the title!  I can’t decide if I can see the attraction of such a picturesque, protected lifestyle, or if I find it suffocating and isolated. . .it certainly is beautiful.  And the organization where I’m working today is LOVELY.

I love my friends in the helping professions!

My proposal hearing was successful, and my committee has given me permission to recruit participants for my study.  Yea!!  Recruitment has been harder than I expected.  I HATE asking people to do something for me when I can’t really offer an attractive incentive beyond “the opportunity to contribute to academic research.”  I feel like I’m asking people to donate to the charity of “Lisa G. Graham,” and I don’t like it!  Luckily. two non-profit groups appear to be promising prospects.  Most of the corporate groups I’ve approached so far have been resistant or non-responsive.  Ugh.  You’d think I was asking them to work chain gang for a day rather than requesting permission to videotape a meeting and conduct subsequent one-on-one interviews!  Of course, I’m being a bit facetious here.  I understand that some people don’t like to be videotaped. . .and that a lot of people really don’t have an extra hour to dedicate to a follow-up interview.  I’m just frustrated because I have visions of the perfectly diverse and interesting participant sample, and it isn’t forming as easily as I’d hoped.  I still have a few irons in the fire, so I haven’t given up yet.  I need at least six groups to complete the study!  Wish me luck.  And if you know a corporate team that may be willing to participate, please let me know!

Case #100609

On October 6, 2009, a member of the Graham family reported the mysterious disappearance of a hot pink permanent marker.  The suspected thief, pictured above, was apprehended in the Graham master bedroom at 5:45pm when visitor Cates observed his suspicious appearance.  Suspect initially denied his involvement in the marker heist.  Due to the prosecution’s overwhelmingly strong case against him, the suspect has since shifted his strategy, entering a plea of “not guilty due to temporary insanity.”  He stated, “bark  bark bark lick” (“Ms. Graham failed to take me for a walk on the morning of October 6, and the pent up energy was more than I could take.  If anyone is at fault in this case, it is Ms. Graham.”)

Who needs consistent blood flow to the brain?

I’ve had some terrible headaches over the past couple of weeks.  At first, I accused my Mac computer screen of producing too much glare.  Then I thought maybe I wasn’t taking enough breaks (I’m not good at breaks).  Then I decided I might have a brain tumor.  Well, turns out the headband I wear to keep my hair out of my face when I’m working has been cutting off blood flow to my brain.  Yep.  Goodbye, headband; hello, happy head.  I’d like to point out that I successfully completed the first three chapters of my dissertation while enduring reduced supplies of blood to my thinker.  This has to be some sort of accomplishment of which I should be proud.

Amendment Fails to Pass

Not a peep from Microsoft.  (Turns out the sweet guys who attempted to answer my question were just members of the community blog, so they aren’t obligated to keep helping me. . .)  I still have a TOC that only includes two levels of heading styles.  Oy veh.  My love affair with Apple is rekindled.

Potential Amendment to Recent Rant

Two tech support guys from Microsoft responded to the post I sent yesterday to the Mactopia site.  Neither was able to provide a solution to my TOC woes, but I sent them a long e-mail with more details this morning.  We’ll see how it goes. . .I was pleased to FINALLY have a response from humans.

Why I Love Apple Support (and Loathe Microsoft)

If you have a problem with a Mac application, you:

1.  Call Apple support

2.  Get a live person on the line IMMEDIATELY to answer your question

When you can’t figure out how to get MS Word 2008 to generate a Table of Contents so that you won’t friggin’ have to do it manually every time you revise your dissertation, you:

1.  Try to find the answer somewhere on a Microsoft message board, blog, help site, etc., and when that doesn’t work, you. . .

2. Call the Microsoft technical support number and wait on hold for over an hour while listening to inane music that elevates your level of frustration with each passing moment, and when that doesn’t work, you. . .

3.  E-mail everyone you know who has any sort of Microsoft application knowledge (cousin Joel, Carole’s high school friend who is now a VP at Microsoft, all the folks in the Dissertation conference room, the Writing Center conference room, the Ph.D. Community Lounge conference) to see if they can assist you, and when that doesn’t work, you. . .

4.  Offer the aforementioned constituencies money, food, and/or sexual favors in exchange for their assistance, and when that doesn’t work, you. . .

5.  Desperately post to the Microsoft Mactopia site — where you can see that many others have also asked for help and received no assistance, and when that doesn’t work, you. . .

6.  Stomp around your office like a big baby, emitting loud, unattractive grunts of anger that send the dog scurrying out of the room, and when that doesn’t work you. . .

7.  Give up and decide to create the TOC manually because figuring out how to generate it automatically is obviously taking more time anyway!!!

Dissertation Dreams

I just sent my first (very rough) draft of my proposal to my chair a couple of minutes ago.  The last two weeks have been pretty intense.  Here are some of the dreams I had over the past few days.  I’m not making this up (well, technically, I did make it up when I was dreaming, but the dreams really did occur):

1.  Charles and I returned from out of town to find that our house had been burglarized.  All of our furniture was missing.  Even the tiles from the floor in our entryway were gone, and the thieves had peeled the gold leaf designs from the ceiling.  (Note: we don’t have any gold leaf anywhere in our house. . .nor will we EVER)  However, my stomach did not drop until I entered my office and found that both my desktop and laptop computers were gone.  The police arrived and were completely focused on making a list of all the physical possessions that were missing from the house.  I kept screaming, “You don’t understand.  My dissertation is on those computers.  My dissertation!  Don’t you understand what I’m saying?!!  There is no way I can recover all of that work!”  The police ignore me and keep talking to Charles.  (Note: I back-up my dissertation via an external drive AND an external back-up service, so I shouldn’t be worried about losing my dissertation.)

2.  I’m at an Antioch residency, and I see Jon Wergin (my chair) across the room.  I skip excitedly to his side and tell him how excited I am to see him.  (Note: I do not actually skip in public.)  He looks at me with a blank stare and replies, “I’m sorry.  Do we know each other?”

3.  Laura Santana (friend from school), Margaret Barry (a friend from elementary through high school who I haven’t seen except via Facebook since graduation), and I are at a coffee shop working on our dissertations.  I have to leave to confront my next door neighbor whose dogs live in the front yard and have been trying to attack my dogs when I take them for walks (Note: this is sort of kind-of based on real life, but the person doesn’t live next door to us, and I haven’t confronted her).  On my way back to the coffee shop, it begins to rain.  Laura and Margaret are still at the same table at the coffee shop.  My computer is missing.  I ask Laura where it is, and she says she put it outside.  “Whoops,” she says, “I hope it didn’t get wet!”  Then, she returns to her own work and ignores me.